Secret blog of a Secret Millionaire

For as long as I can remember I have always scribbled down my thoughts and ideas on scraps of paper, receipts and post-it notes I carry with me, even occasionally resorting to the backs of cheques and unfortunate book covers. I guess now we have blog and twitters.

What follows are the notes and scribbles that I made in my little brown journal that I carried with me throughout my adventure as a Secret Millionaire in March 2008.

I hope you find this very personal, ‘behind the scenes’ view of the events interesting. I would be delighted to answer any questions you may have so please drop me a line. In the meantime, enjoy what was a truly unique ten days of my life.

The Night Before – Monday 7th April

It’s 7.30pm on the evening of my latest adventure. “Tomorrow I take off to I know not where. Tomorrow I become a secret millionaire.”

I am more apprehensive than I have been for years, which is partly why I am doing this. It’s a ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity to leave who and what I am, and who and what i ‘was’ behind to be no-one other than me. A role I haven’t played for a long time to anyone outside of my family and friends. This ten day adventure, although living a part-lie, will be just ‘me’. No ‘image’, no history, no reputation, no achievements, just Carl. Just, how will Carl react to new people in a new place and possibly some unique events?

Already I have endured pre-undercover filming on my old estate.

A recurring theme in my pre-trip interviews has been my tale of how as a young lad I laid on my garden gate looking into the distance, to an escape, a future away from the Wyther Park estate. I also spoke of how my attention would be diverted to the corner of my street where I would stare in the hope of something or someone coming around the corner, a new face, a friend – anything, but nothing ever did.

So now I think of this opportunity and the way that it has ‘come around the corner’ and although I am now in my home behind my electronic gates as opposed to laying on my gate, I have decided to get off my gate and meet this opportunity full on. I want to see where it takes me and not simply lie here, comfortable and content as this potentially fascinating if a little scary event just passes me by…

…I am fortunate to be able to say that my life now is fabulous, happy, interesting and rewarding but not scary or uncomfortable and not hugely challenging. I am considered a success by others but I consider myself fortunate, fortunate as I have choices. I choose every day what I’ll do, and with whom,, and where, and when – fabulous. These choices are now being taken from me and I will be back to where I once was in some ways, a place where a majority of people are every day. People who struggle and do what they have to do simply to get by. So in the coming days I will hopefully get to meet some of these people and know of their efforts and their concerns and I really, really hope I can help them in some way.

Other reasons for doing this, I am at the point where I have the time, the interest, the money and the balls to try this – it won’t come my way again.

I wouldn’t do this if my various businesses were up and running and much more mature than they currently are. I would not want to do anything that might damage the reputation of those businesses or my business partners. I wouldn’t do this if I had not already tried to cater for my own family and I wouldn’t do this without the support of my wonderful wife, Stefanie.

So tomorrow it begins – am I ready?

Tuesday 8th April

So it has begun. I sit here alone in a well proportioned but barely furnished room in No.4 Noble Street, Easington in the North East of Sunderland.

The house is cold; I can’t keep the coke fire going and the room is now full of smoke. No fire seems to mean no hot water, although happily the shower is electric.

The journey was fine, no problems. I was filmed getting on and off two trains and in and out of two cabs. This followed a morning of filming at home, an interview with Stef and me packing and unpacking four times and then a hug goodbye (five times).

Who have I met? Dave, the tattooed taxi driver, told me I was heading to “crack head central”! I’ve been to the Co-op twice with my £10 – the only money allowed until I receive my full £67.50 wages later. I nd have enough food for two dinners and breakfast plus lunch!. I chatted with the ladies in the Co-op. On returning I realise I have ‘lost my house’. Manage to find it after ten minutes of aimless wandering.

Diane is my neighbour and she explained the fire to me and lent me coke, wood, fire lighter, matches etc. All good but sadly I lack the skills to ‘make fire’. Where’s Ray Mears when you need him?

I went for a walk; the camera crew draws kids like a magnet. The area has lots of back-to-back houses in what must have been a vibrant, quite pretty coastal mining town but the mines shut down in ’93. Has anything taken their place? Dave taxi said “light manufacturing”. I see lots of empty shops, old schools and boarded up houses, is it a town on its knees?

…What is happening here to give it a reason for being, or give it and its people a future? Maybe I’ll find out tomorrow as I start my new job. Community Warden, Shooting begins at 9.30ish, I start my shift at 11am which will be interesting.

Will I manage to get to sleep in my little bed? Who knows… All I do know is that I am fekkin cold. Off to my video diary then to bed, to warm up I hope.

Wednesday 9th April

Morning! Failed to warm up I’m afraid, pants, shorts, socks, vest, fleece and still cold. Plus an unreasonably small duvet (lightweight) which kept falling off. So, not well rested but I remain positive. This morning I have showered, had breakfast, swept the yard, picked litter from the ‘garden’ and fixed the old bird feeder. I have spoken to Stef about a charity fashion show she went to last night that I missed out on! I now await the crew.

Afternoon: Between the filming, the directing, the pre-shoot chats, the cooking, the video diary, there is little time to be alone. This is what I feel will be what tires me out, I hope I don’t reach the end of my patience! The guys on the crew are really good, helpful and supportive. I want this to go well for them. My rule of thumb in life and business is I tend to adopt an attitude that I go into a new situation, as long as I leave without looking a total arse then I’m happy… I hope that’s the case this time.

I went to work on a bus today. I am to be a street warden. Once there I met Ian the boss and some random copper who asked all about me and I managed to lie to him so all good with my cover story. I walked the streets of my neighbourhood with my two partners and minders, no great shakes to be honest. I think the ‘drug problem’ is a little overblown, a small percentage of a small estate in a small town.

Met Cyril at the Welfare Club (the Wellie) and heard of their successes and past tribulations, as well as their future plan. I also met Ritchie on a neighbouring street, he is a dad of three and now a full-time carer. He told me about a group that he is part of – ‘Male Carers’, men in similar situations, at home looking after loved ones. They have a night out on a Friday and he invited me to it, so going to see him tomorrow to hear more.

Diane left me more coal, bless her.

Early days, so many more people to meet and so many stories to hear. Night!

Thursday 10th April

A very interesting day today. Started the day by visiting Ritchie and his two boys and little girl. It was his eldest’s birthday, I can’t help but like Ritchie. I have an invitation to go tenpin bowling tomorrow with other male carers. Hopefully I will get to meet Carol who runs the network and in effect cares for the carers. Ritchie reckons it saved his life, real words I think, not simply TV words.

I went on my patrol, which in itself was no great shakes but we did see one street which was to be demolished and met the final resident, an old lady, who was about to move out of her home. Her daughter was very upset. The shutters were going up as quickly as the sofas were coming out. We chatted with some old and some young lasses in a hall nearby which will also be knocked down for the housing developments that everyone believes will follow. No-one seemed particularly happy about the neighbourhood going.

Then we found a gem! Jimmy’s Farm. A three part undertaking called The SPYRAL (Sandhills Project for Youth Recreation and Leisure) Project. One part of it is for teenage kids to grow their own food in – for £1 per week they get their own allotment, with chickens and pigs. Another part which is currently home to two smelly goats, will be an orchard. Then there is an area for animals, ducks, doves, pheasant and wallabies! Plus rabbits. As well as caring for the animals and learning about how to care for them, everything ‘spirals’ into learning, through the growing of vegetables and animal care, then into biology, geography and history.

Jimmy has built a rudimentary classroom and also hopes to build a tuck shop. When I stop and think of the possibility of helping Jimmy and his initiatives, I am the one that feels privileged and somewhat humble, it chokes me up already. I feel this will get harder. Plenty of time to think about it though and plenty of time to hear more about the place.

Abi, my director has a mystery trip planned for tonight… oh no! …now relax.

11pm

Tonight I came across a brass band practice. The band were in the local Methodist Church. I took a seat that had on it a programme from an event in Brighouse! Spooky! The band were terrific and at the end, committee man Scott spoke of an impending letter regarding loss of sponsorship that the members would be receiving. This is a blow as they are on the eve of a trip to compete in Scotland, something they fund themselves. So more food for thought and another revisit on the cards. What next?

Friday 11th April

Slow start to the day. Off to the beach… cold beach for moody wide shots and I had the coldest of paddles. Easy lunch at ‘home’ and then off into the pissing rain to Tenpin Bowling with Ritchie and his crew. A genuine bunch of blokes. All out for a good time and to mix with other men and let off steam. Each one has his problems as a carer but for just a couple of hours they leave them behind. Really enjoyed meeting them and hearing how important the group is to them and how well run it is. Will hopefully learn more next week. By the way, I lost at bowling to a man with one eye!

Been quite lonely today, ‘woke’ feeling tired and flat. Sat alone until 10.30ish and doodled the view from my back door. Strange to be in a goldfish bowl one minute, the centre of attention and curiosity and then sat alone for 2-3 hours at a time. All a bit bizarre. Overall I’m enjoying the journey. Looking forward to tomorrow and getting my hands dirty and seeing more of Jimmy’s place working and learning of his plans. Early night I think.

Saturday 12th April

Well, I slept better although I seem to wake at 3.30am every morning?!

I talked to some of the families too. Kids I met included, Jamie, Liam and Kirsty. Then I was able to sit and talk with Jimmy about how the farm is used, the variety of users, not just teenagers on the allotments, but the school visitors, the families, the kids with learning difficulties, the kids kicked out of school, the offenders and users of drugs and alcohol. He spoke of the sustainability of the place and the fact that it’s £11k short of finishing and could be run for £1k per year – that’s nothing! So much good for so little money.

Came ‘home’, made soup and was filmed calling Stef. Miss my wife and I know she wants me home too. She isn’t sleeping and she is working too long. Hope she will be OK.

Busier day tomorrow, bet I f*cking ache!

Sunday 13th April

Hurrah no aches! Hurrah again to a sunny start to Sunday! Slept badly though, my mind is racing with the events of the day and the upcoming days. Also started to think of home, but mustn’t do that, it’s too early, only just over half way.

What do I want from today? Am looking forward to the brass band practice I’m invited to.

Pleasant day today overall. Started with shooting in and around the streets with the sea as a distant backdrop and me walking in and out of shot. While doing this we came across a ‘crew’ doing a fashion shoot for Japanese Vogue. The (no doubt Southern) ‘crew’ had picked Easington as ‘an urban backdrop in decay’ to shoot against BUT they were a little disappointed it wasn’t as depressed as they had hoped! What a bunch of twats. They’re simply pushing clichéd, out of date, and frankly uncreative messages, to an international audience. F*ck me, I could have suggested some real shit holes back in London, why travel 350 miles? Morons. Rant over.

After that we went to the old pit head and walked to the summit to see the ‘cages’, a monument to the heritage and the ‘reason’ why Easington really exists. Really eerie place yet moving. Almost oppressive as a piece of sculpture but a fabulously iconic epitaph. A great spot and an appropriate testament to the mines. Very close to there was the band practice hall. A unique building as it’s the last one of the old colliery but sadly really run down. We watched the band, or rather listened to them rehearse then Scott had the lovely idea of me joining in. Oh joy!

…To be fair, all I had to do was hit a gong. When Scott stopped f*cking laughing and nodded his head I was meant to hit it. Still, I managed to miss a beat or two… or three! I was stressed! I haven’t felt like that since… I don’t know when.

Met up with the band later in the very nice Half Moon pub and chatted with Scott and his partner Kareena plus Stewart the conductor and a couple of band members. Wasn’t too successful in finding out more information regarding the finances but getting a feeling for their needs beyond their main issue which is refurbishment of the whole hall.

Lots to think about.

Monday 14th April

Slept better! Still awake early but I don’t mind that.

On the beat again around the mean streets of Billy Elliot town. Also hoping to meet Carol from the carers and Geoff the fundraiser from the Welfare. Same brief for both, find out what their issues and plans are and try figure out if I can help.

Met Geoff, had a tour and a chat. Once again he reiterated the Welfare’s ability to set goals and to achieve them. They have grand plans in mind and I have no doubt they will accomplish all they set out to do. BUT in the near future they are attempting to fund and finish the stage area. Once the stage is ‘working’ they have a usable, unique and profitable space to draw more people and hopefully more revenue.

Then I was off to ‘work’. PISSED it down and I had to knock on doors and hand out leaflets. Just an hour today, thankfully. Gary and Karen are my warden buddies and do a good job but have a large area to cover and have an odd role. They should be there as visual representation of council policy of help and assistance and not issuing warrants and reprimands – let the coppers do that. Let the wardens become someone the residents trust and talk to.

Once the mini-monsoon had passed we were off again in the oh-so-familiar cold, to the playground with Ritchie and two of his kids, Cameron and Charlotte. Heard more about the problems with his two sons’ health. Would like to give him a break, nothing big… maybe just a holiday somewhere further than Flamingo Land…

Later off to a social club to hear more about the Wellie and Cyril.

Met with John at the social. I think I’m resorting back to ‘business Carl’ i.e. I’ve heard enough and have started to formulate my decisions. I reach a point (admittedly sometimes too quickly) where I think it’s time I made a decision, and I’m there now.

Still, it was good to hear more about Cyril and how he came back form a severe accident last year and went straight back to the ‘Wellie’. Amazing guy.

Looking forward to meeting Carol in the morning. Time is running out, I’m beginning to focus on the outcome. I still find it hard to believe I’m actually taking part in ‘that’ programme for some reason. I think a couple of days in and it’s not about a TV outcome it’s an ‘adventure’ that just happens to have a TV camera in tow. It’s odd. Not bad. Just odd. By the way, I won’t miss the uniform or the patrolling.

Tuesday 15th April

Another bright start to the day. Off early to meet Carol. Plus going to a tea dance at the Wellie later. Need to find a launderette. Some further thoughts last night on money and allocation and Ritchie. No final decisions yet, still time.

Really good morning albeit  fekkin wet – again. Went to town to meet Carol who gave me a rundown of the role, history and plans of the carers group. Simply an outstanding organisation. Carol gave me a better feel of the number involved to such as how much the guys pay for each outing plus how much they raise during their fundraising.

Later, I went to the library to track down the finances of the band -Scott had been somewhat tight-lipped so far. As a registered charity I found them on the charity register – just call me Miss Marple! So now I have a good idea of gift level. I can’t help with the building but maybe I can relieve them of some of the running costs this year. Also give them a base so any future earnings can be re-invested into the building work.

Went off to the ‘Wellie’. Sad really as I went there under a cloud of rumour and suspicion of ‘our’ actual motives for being here. A few people it seems, had misconstrued my wardening prowess as an attempt to show the drugs and deprivation of the area on TV. Understandable as that is a very public face of my time here – they haven’t seen the allotments, bowling, tea dancing etc that we’ve filmed.

Headed off to talk to Cyril and I tried to put his mind at rest. Then off upstairs to the tea dance. I use the word ‘dance’ in a loose, descriptive sense you understand. What actually happened was a flirty 69 year old, Doris, guiding, man-handling and wrestling me around the enormous sprung dance floor! I avoided her feet, advances and a third dance thankfully!

The dance gave me a chance to meet and chat with the Easington elders and find out more about their admiration and love of Cyril and the Wellie. As they said, ‘every other person in Easington has a stick!’ So the proposed lift should encourage more people to attend.

Then went to a laundrette to wash a t-shirt (how long ago is it, if ever, that I have been in a launderette). We returned to the Wellie in the evening where I chatted with the kids and played snooker!

Wednesday 16th April

Here we are, last but one day, grey day by the looks of it. Putting out the bins day.

I was sweeping the yard this time last week. Strange week. Feels like part holiday, part adventure. Feeling glad I’ve done it and hopefully the next 24 hours or so will go quickly and smoothly.

Today’s plan I am told, is perhaps some more shots of me aimlessly wandering the mean streets. Then a ‘long’ interview with Abi and later shots of me thinking, deciding and no doubt scribbling. At some point, I want to get my neighbour Diane some flowers and return her coal bucket etc. Also would like to get Jordan, Cameron and Charlotte, Ritchie’s kids, a toy each…

We have visited Ritchie and intend to do some shopping later. Just chatting to Ritchie made me smile. Found the toys, truck, robot and colouring pens, then off to the florist… bit of a surprise to find a one-armed florist – great flowers though!

Returned ‘home’ to do a big chat. Think it went OK. I don’t know how they ever begin to edit all this stuff, the hours and hours into minutes. Various bits shot in the house, curtains and tea-making facilities were a particular highlight! Also returned Diane’s bucket, coke and wood plus the flowers. She seemed happy. This evening seems to be paperwork and a last evening alone.

I feel 99% certain of my decisions and will hopefully deliver my gifts in the right manner on Thursday. Time for video diary and then off to lie in bed and look at the strange water pattern on the wall and watch the security light over the street turn on and off, on and off, on and off… goodnight …I think not.

…Paperwork done, just awaiting ‘crew’ to return for final shots. Stomach all over the place, not sure if I’m nervous about tomorrow or just hungry!

Stoked the fire and camera rolling.

Not sure what to have to eat tonight… Soup? Probably, where’s room service when you need it.

All gone and me fed. Thinking of things to do now, mainly packing. Takes my mind off what is to come tomorrow. I feel it’ll be ok. I just don’t want to get too emotional but if ‘they’ do, I probably will.
Tomorrow is about packing, dressing and cheque writing. Then early lunch and we start ‘giving’ at 1pm, Scott first I think and Richie last but otherwise not sure. I feel a little apprehensive, I know I won’t sleep well, want to get it over with now but at the same time I want to savour the moment. I ‘forget’ it’s a TV programme so just when it’s a dim and distant memory I will watch it on TV and be reminded of this incredible and unique time… So very bizarre!

Thursday 17th April

Awoke at 6am, a healthy nine hours sleep. Went for a longer than usual walk alone. Done my ‘chores’. The sound man will have problems with sound today as my stomach is doing cartwheels… feels like pre-pitch nerves.

I’ve thrown around in my empty head the kinds of things I would like to say to each of the guys today, but I’m sure in the moment those words will slip away. I hope I can find a few more though. I want it to be over but I want to enjoy it too, whatever happens I’m confident I won’t forget April 17th.

First off we went to see Scott who was in the band room. Good to see him. He commented on the suit, I told him I was applying for a job as gong-hitter. Got him to sit down and told him how much I respected what he had done after his illness. Also, how important the band was. I then told him who I was, he instantly said “in that case do you want to be a sponsor” and I said “funny you should say that, I do” and reached in my pocket for the cheque. His face was priceless as it drained of colour and hit the floor! I offered him a gift of £10,000. We chatted a bit and he was glassy-eyed but OK. Turns out the band were in a much worse state than I’d been led to believe. He said they were near ‘closing the doors’. Scott was going to get the band together to tell them the night before they headed to Scotland on Saturday for the competition. I thought I was going to get upset but then he did, so I was fine!

Next stop Jimmy.

Cold as ever, we found ourselves at Jimmy’s. I walked in to find him half in a rabbit and guinea pig enclosure. He clocked my suit; “do you want some overalls” he asked then started to show me a burrow with rabbit ‘babies’ in. I had to get him out of the pen and make him sit down. He kept talking over me as I told him how good he is and how great the place was but I was able to get through it and hand over the cheque for £13,000 to finish the place and for a couple of years upkeep. He was amazed and a little disbelieving that ‘Carl comes 130 miles, doesn’t know us and does this amazing thing’. Jimmy reckons they can now finish everything off and be self-sufficient.

BTW the project was £5 overdrawn that morning! Slightly ahead of schedule we set off to see Cyril.

Cyril was sat in the same place as when I met him for the first time. I was concerned as I know Cyril has been central to the rumours that we were taking away a negative image of the area. Again I sat with him and told him how impressed I was and how unbelievable it was that he came back from his recent accident to throw himself into the Wellie. I went on to say how important The Welfare was. I told him who I was and how I felt the stage area was crucial and presented him with £12,000. Took his breath away a little. He was blown away it seems. I also gave him £1 for my membership. We let Cyril tell Geoff who, although he’d been cool, said he actually was really emotional. Funny he said my money puts him put of a job – hope not!

Then off to see Ritchie and Carol. I found out early doors that morning that Carol had her dog put down and was terribly upset and wasn’t sure she would even turn up at the end of the day.

Also, I had gifts for Ritchie’s children but it transpired their mother wouldn’t let him have them back that day, so they were both very upset. I walked in and gave Ritchie the kids’ toys and sat both him and Carol down. Again I told Carol of how she goes above and beyond just a job also how important the male carers group was. I told her I wanted to help arrange more events so presented her with £5,000 – surprised them both. I then turned my attention to Ritchie.

I told him I wanted him to have some ‘Ritchie time’ and the subject of Sunderland FC came up. So I said; “funny you should say that” and reached for my pocket.. and he broke down! Really broke down. It got to me, I had to pause and bite my lip, I’m hoping the cameras were on Ritchie. I gave him his £2,000 gift for a season ticket and a family holiday, he was in bits.

I guess Ritchie was more ‘personal’ than the others. It was a relief to hide in the hallway as the crew asked them both more questions.

Then back to the house. Back to pack and a farewell interview on the doorstep. The crew seemed to think I had done ‘good things’. I felt I had the balance right with the gifts – I hope so.

Back home

I’m home now, it’s Friday 18th. My adventure is done. Safely returned home by my fabulous director Abigail and a patient camera man Martin. A few last questions at home were preceded by a hugging with Stef on the drive.